Tuesday, August 17, 2010

How [NOT!] to Cook a Great Tasting Steak: 7 steps - wikiHow

This is a great example of how brilliantly the Web can contextualize garbage as gold. There is nothing in this recipe that makes any sense unless the steak to be cooked is from a cadaver. Yet if you don't know how to cook it sounds pretty reasonable.

How to Cook a Great Tasting Steak: 7 steps - wikiHow:


Tags said...

Step 1 - unbuckle belt (pants only)

Step 2 - unzip or unbutton fly

Step 3 - loosen pants at waist

Step 4 - let gravity expedite descent of trousers

Step 5 - reach for and grasp ankles

Step 6 - preheat oven to 450 degrees

Step 7 - cook steak until you smell smoke

Lou said...

My favorit line was:

"Otherwise, pull the flesh away from the membrane in chunks and direct those chunks into your mouth..."

Oh, sorry, that was "How to peel a Pomelo".

John said...

I retort with: http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/how-to-cook-a-fucking-steak

(warning, crude language, you wuss)

Bob del Grosso said...

Don Luis, You live!

Zalbar said...

You forgot to quote the best comment from that article:

"earlydinner [#1816]

you really should cite your sources if you're going to quote at length from jacques pepin like this."

pure win

Lou said...

Yo Bob,

Yup, I live. A few months ago, in a rare moment of clarity, I quit facebook, twitter, and several other online social time wasters.

Of course, I still read your blog. It's just that I consume more than I contribute these days.

Tags said...

I might just become a Louddite myself, although I never had a facebook or twitter account.

Lou said...

I object to the badly spelled characterization. I'm all for the loom, and all the advancements that followed. I'm not so keen on knowing what you had for breakfast.