Saturday, May 9, 2009

Pythia of Media Speaks:People go Hungry

Watch out world, Oprah Winfrey is on a diet again and things are getting crazy.

When most people go on a diet they just go out and buy a bunch of diet books and laxatives then sign up at gym where they can get healthy snacks like strawberry smoothies and maybe exercise a little bit. But when Oprah goes on a diet it's a much bigger deal because, of course, she is like The Delphic Oracle of millions of people who need her to tell them how to live .

Now I never knew the real Oracle of Delphi so I cannot say with any degree of certainty if she was any wiser than the current Miss Pythia of Media. But I wonder if Apollo would approve of Oprah's oracular performance when last week, in response to some inscrutable mutterings by their oracle, tens of thousands of people who thought she was telling them how to lose weight crashed her servers trying to download coupons for free food from Kentucky Fried Chicken. But wait, things get weirder.

Armed with these coupons, Oprah's acolytes rush into KFC stores all over the United States and wipe them out of grilled chicken. Store managers had to turn people away. Now many are upset because they could not get their coupons or free chicken so they can lose weight like Oprah.

It's all so confusing. This might clear things up.




9 comments:

Ed Bruske said...

Can't wait to hear what Oprah was thinking when she jumped aboard this leaky ship. KFCs chickens come from the worst factory farms. And the sides that come with this grilled chicken meal are a virtual insulin bomb, packed with carbs just right for packing on the pounds or pushing you into diabetes hell.

http://www.theslowcook.com/2009/05/07/oprah-say-shoot-your-pancreas/

Tags said...

Did she really say (in the article) it was amazing that she got more thank yous for the chicken than for the cars?

You don't need an advanced math degree to know that the nationwide TV audience that got free chicken is a lot larger than her studio audience that got the cars.

I'm just sayin'.

Jon in Albany said...

What do you think Oprah will tell us to read next?

Jennie/Tikka said...

I still haven't forgiven her for her satellite radio station that does nothing but push "A Course in Miracles" 24/7.

Oprah has jumped the shark.

Tags said...

She means well, but KFC? She needs to have a chat with Temple Grandin.

Deborah Dowd said...

Just more evidence we are becoming a nation of sheeple.

Robert said...

Pythia, eh? I thought that was just something Moore and Eick made up for BSG. Learn something new every day, I s'pose.

Bob del Grosso said...

Robert
I'd forgotten about the Pythia character in BSG. LOL. Moore and Eick really dug into the historical record for that one, eh?

Cameron Siguenza said...

Hah, what a surreal story.