Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Yeast Poll Results Reveal Pattern of Bread Doping


What do bread bakers who work from starter, students who pay other people to take tests for them and professional athletes have in common?

Well, from my poll results (look left) it appears that most of them are not above doping their path to success. Of the 22 bakers who respond positively to the statement "I occasionally add commercial yeast to bread starter," only 5 answered "Never."

So now it's official people. The epidemic of cheating and dishonesty that has been plaguing our society and has corrupted and undermined the integrity everything from politics to banking, professional sports and academia, has begun to work it's way through what is perhaps the last corner of virtuous endeavor: the subculture of bakers who eschew the use of unsustainable factory made yeast in favor of culturing yeast that is ambient in the atmosphere and the flour itself.

Who's next?

Organic farmers who dope manure with Miracle Grow? Vegan chefs who fry their setan in bacon fat to get a leg over the neck of competitors who use hydrolzed vegetable protein to add umami? Do we now have to worry about raw milk dairy farmers spiking their milk with melamine?

Look, I occasionally add yeast to my bread starter. But I'm no hypocrite so don't think that just because I do it, it's okay for you to do it too.

3 comments:

IdahoRocks said...

If I'm making the "perfect loaf of bread" ala Sullivan Bakery, I do dope my starter with yeast. But when I make bread just for myself, well that baby-who-lives-on-the-counter, i.e., my starter, receives new life with water and flour on a three meal a day diet, and then I make my bread. It is always worth it. On lazy days, the starter goes to bed in the fridge and I do make bread with yeast. I guess it's all a mood thing....

maurarose said...

Funny stuff, Bob. I've noticed recently that yeast has become the latest threat to civilization as we know it.

Carri said...

...oy!