An obese David returned to Florence today after a tour of the Untied States. Apparently the statue became depressed and developed a proclivity for fast food restaurants and all-you-can-eat buffets sometime after being ejected from a symposium on the health benefits of the Mediterranean Diet at NYU for what another participant described as "lewd and lascivious behavior."
In a press interview following his
ejaculation ejection from the symposium, David was like "Madone, I'm a masterpiec, what they expect; I'm gonna put fig leaf?" (sic)
David is currently at the Agenzia Regionale Di Sanita preparing to undergo gastric bypass surgery.