Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Milk Dud


The hypocrisy of Heather Mills is matched only by her vanity and vacuity. She does not drink milk so she is against the practice of people drinking milk because it contributes to global warming. However she supports the airline industry despite the fact that it contributes to global warming because (I assume) she likes to fly a lot.

She's not bad-looking though. As someone once wrote (Anthony Trollope, I think) about the writing of HG Wells [she's] like miles of shimmering water, one inch deep.

Heather says
When (Viva!) told me it [effects of livestock on global warming] was 18%, that's more than all global transport, I was in shock. Airplanes only bring 3%, while they are being picked on with taxes," she said Monday.

"We are the only species that drinks another person's milk, so why aren't we drinking rat's milk, or dog's milk, or cat's milk, that's how crazy it is," she said.

"It's mad that we are having cow's milk. Even cows don't drink it after one year but we continue forever. [Source]
We are the only species that drinks another PERSON'S milk? Wow, that's deep. I assume that since a cow is a person and I am a person, I am drinking another person's milk when I drink cow's milk. Cool, I did not know that. What's more I think I am experiencing a true paradigm shift. Now I realize that when I eat cheese, I am eating another person's cheese that is not my own cheese. Whew, and that butter is another person's butter. I get it, totally.

But rat's milk Heather? WTF are you smoking? The fact is that humans can drink rat milk, dog's milk, even got-damned whale's milk. But dear god girl, how many rats would you have to breed and milk to meet the needs of even a small city? And who are you going to hire to do the job of milking rats? You are too funny baby.

I do fancy the idea a bit. And how cool would it be if say one dairy farmer raised rats while an adjacent farmer raised cats?

OMG, I cannot wait for the mothership to come and take me back to earth, this planet is much too weird for me.

7 comments:

Scotty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scotty said...

First of all that is not true. There are countless examples of one species nursing from another. Just for example, this is a link to a YouTube video of a cat nursing on a dog:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-s-bF8vFCs&feature=related

There is a rational Vegan explanation of why they don't drink milk. This ain't it. This actually reminded me of Ghostbusters: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria.

Trent Hendricks said...

Nice!
Now if only all these "Earth Jihadist" fighters would start leading by example and give their own lives up and release the energy stored in their bodies to feed Mother Earth, reducing not only the rate of consumption, but also that of retardation or mental imcompetence, we would really be on to something...
Although, however unlikely, Urban Home Milk Production could really makes significant strides in waste removal, be highly regenerative, have low input and think of all the by-products ie. Rodent Charcuterie. Rat Pancetta anyone? I can only imaginge feeding the rat casings over the sausage stuffing tube, and we thought lamb casing were a bitch! Think of all the community building cottage industries this movement could spawn, rat milking robots, thimble sized cheese vats, and a curing cave the size of a jewelery box. Probaly solve the obesiety epidemic too...

Tags said...

For Heather, cow = person.

Just as half and half equals whole milk for some people, some of her equations don't hit the mark.

Suggesting people drink rat's milk, for instance. Animals don't drink milk from other species, for another. Equating consumption of grass-fed humanely raised cow's milk with factory "farmed" milk from unhealthy corn-fed livestock, for yet another.

Concluding that people should stop drinking milk and eating cheese altogether is like smelling the stinky crust in the neck of the milk bottle and throwing away a gallon of good milk.

If she were to separate the responsibly raised cow's milk from the factory "farmed," she would have a nice-looking argument to go along with her pretty face.

Tags said...

Those who would change the future should at least catch up to the past.

Deborah Dowd said...

If this wasn't on your blog I would think it was a parody. I am looking forward to rat's milk cheese, and I don't even want to see the line that forms if they start looking for volunteers to suckle from the breasts of some of the Food Network Stars! Hey, we are a species that drinks the milk of another person... even if that person has four legs and chews its cud!

Kovalic said...

Rats' Milk Cheese.

Tiny, tiny tommes... :-)