Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Ancient Colonoscope Becomes Cooking Tool

Working closely with celebrity chefs and proctologists from the National Institutes of Gastroenterology, curators from The American Museum of American Holiday Foods and The Busch Foundation for Beer Proliferation, developed a radically unoriginal and inferior method of cooking turkey. The method represents an upgrade from the traditional practices of trailer trash alt/gourmet culinary methodologies and the pre and post football game foodways of inebriated college students with interests in symbolic anal sex and bestiality.

Rather than simply shove a can of foamy beer into the body cavity of a turkey and wait for it to heat and despoil it, the researchers built a device (modeled on an antique Romanian medical instrument that was used to diagnose the condition of the human colon) that combines all of the obscene aspects of the traditional practice, with the convenience of a simple roasting pan.

Patents are pending on this curious product of medical technology and prurient appetitive but the euphemistically named "Turkey Canon" is already on the market. Gotta git it on?

Git one heah.

3 comments:

The Foodist said...

.....*blinks*...*Rubs eyes*...HA!

Scotty said...

I think I saw that same thing used in a move someone showed at a stag party.

Yeesh!

blondee47 said...

Why not just ask your gyno for one?...oh u don't have a gyno, so call up the wife's - I'm sure he has plenty!!@ and he'll even show you how, so's it's not painful for the turkey...