Saturday, September 8, 2007

Save the Bagel Foundation: Stop the herbicde in Afghanistan

The Bush Administration and it's counterparts in NATO allied nations operating in Afghanistan are engaged in a (not) terribly effective campaign to eliminate the cultivation of that country's biggest cash crop, the opium poppy or papaver somniferum.

While we do not condone the production, sale or use of narcotics for recreational purposes -unless the junky is a really cool rock star who'd sound lousy without a fix- we cannot ignore the threat of this this herbicidal campaign to poppy seed bagel culture. So A Hunger Artist has created the Save the Bagel Foundation (SBF) and is seeking your support in the form of money or anything of great value that we can sell on eBay to fight this miserable threat to our most beloved bagel variant. (Don't even think about mentioning raisin bagels or -gag- marbled bagels on this blog.)

Here are some photos that will break your heart and cause you to believe in our cause and make you send us money.

War Criminal

Innocent Victims


Scotty said...

The Bagel is a sacred object and must be revered. All ingredients of a true Bagel should be protected - poppy and sesame seeds, dehydrated onions and garlic, that sprinkling of kosher salt (yes, I like everything Bagels or just a good bialy.

But, friend Bob, I think your appeal is too narrow. You cannot ignore the need that Challah or an occasional sourdough loaf, that cries out for a sprinkling of poppy seeds. The homemade burger bun. And forget not the noble Hamentaschen, the center of the Purim celebration, overfilled with mun, the delectable ground poppy seed filling.

These, and others, are deserving of our support as well!

Anonymous said...

Dude, I'm sellin my bong to raise money for this great cause.

Bob del Grosso said...

You're right man, in my focus on the poppy seed bagel I've neglected a lot of other foods that will suffer if this insane herbicide is allowed to run it's course. Ultimately though, my worst sin is that I forgot to consider all the people for whom the poopy seed bagel is less important than other preparations that need poppy seeds. And for that, I should not be forgiven.

Let me know when you sell the bong and I'll tell you where to send the money -duuude.

Scotty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scotty said...

Brother Bob, if sin it is, it is a venial sin. A cook instinctively reaches to that dish that speakes most closely to his/her heart, ignoring others. I, for instance, never consider Beef Wellington when fretting over a foie gras ban. Surely there are those who do not find this dish a waste of good liver and puff pastry.

Yet your zeal on behalf of of the Bagel has resurrected my astonishment that, in this nation of laws, manufacturers and purveyors may produce and sell a dinner roll with a hole in it and call it a bagel.

I am, therefore, resurrecting the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Bagels, or SPCB. So named to place it under the SPCA in the phone book. We cannot allow our children to think that a bagel should provide no resistance to the teeth.